While I Was (or Wasn’t) Sleeping

A 2024 Gallup Poll reported that 57 percent of Americans don’t get enough good sleep.  A 2025 report found that getting less than seven hours of sleep a night can shorten one’s life span.  Some people have serious sleep issues related to medical or psychological issues, and my sympathy goes out to them as well as my hope that they get the help they need to enjoy the pleasure of a good night’s sleep. I offer my “case history” just to add a bit of humor to some, like me, who do not need professional help but are nevertheless in the sleep-challenged 57 percent. Feel free to smile, laugh - or commiserate.   

During my sleep I once punched my wife. In my defense, I was dreaming. She wasn’t in the dream so it’s not that I wanted to hit her.  I was escaping from a mystery assailant and lashed out in self-defense. Her arm got in the way. Research shows that a small percentage of people have such physical dreams.  That didn’t make me or her arm feel any better.

I’ve acted out in other dreams. During one dream I was playing third base and lunged for a sharp grounder only to find myself sprawled on the floor next to the bed.  That wasn’t the worst part. Hitting the floor woke me up so I never knew if I fielded the ball.

Like everyone, my wife also has dreams.  Hers involve family reunions, chatting with departed loved ones or cuddling with pets.  None of them involve hitting me.  Of course, not all my dreams involve life-threatening intruders.  I once dreamed I could fly.  I soared over trees, gliding gently in rising air currents.  It was joyous - until I crashed into a light pole.  You may be sensing a theme here.

Good sleep for me has often been problematic. Almost anything wakes me - bright lights, a ceiling fan on high, car/truck noise. To drown out such intrusions I purchased a little bedside machine that simulates the sound of ocean waves.  I love ocean waves – when I’m at the ocean.  In bed, I just kept listening for the next wave to hit the shore.  So I tried some of the other sounds programmed into the device: gentle rain, variations of water flowing in a stream or over rocks, even a Brahms lullaby.  The machine has now been permanently silenced – put to sleep if you will.

It’s not that I can’t sleep. I have little trouble dozing off – at least when watching a movie at night or trying to read a book lying down.  With a gentleness that does her great honor, my wife then suggests “why don’t you go to bed.”  My father had the perfect reply when he did the same thing and my mother called him on it: “I’m just resting my eyes,” he’d say.  Since his ploy is family lore, I can’t get by using it.

So how do I get the 7-8 hours of sleep recommended by medical and sleep professionals – especially now that I’m older?  I usually don’t. Restful, uninterrupted sleep is like a distant, unreachable shore. I sleep for an hour and a half, then wake up and it’s off to the bathroom.  Back to sleep for a couple more hours then back to the bathroom. Then there are 10 minutes of reading since I’m wide awake. That helps get me back to sleep for maybe 2-3 more hours – unless of course I punch my wife. 

My sleep challenges are not just a function of age. I had sleep issues even as a baby.  My father told me that when his buddies came over after work one night to play pinochle he took them into my room first. In my crib they found me on hands and knees, rocking back and forth so hard that my head would hit the front of the crib and start to move it across the room. When I was eight, I could not go to sleep until I sang the Star-Spangled Banner. In the 1950s, that’s the song that played on TV before programming ended and a night-long test pattern appeared on the screen.  My brother, desperately trying to fall asleep in the room across the hall, understandably found this irritating.  He finally got me out of it by extracting a promise that I would only “sign off” with the National Anthem every other night.  Since I could no longer perform my patriotic gesture every night, I gave up doing it. 

Having grappled with sleep issues for many years, I’ve reached an important epiphany. Even if I don’t get enough sleep – maybe just 5 hours – I should just chill out. I can still get through the day productively.  Actually, I may even be sleeping more than I think!  Just recently I came across the term “sleep state misperception.”  Sparing you the science, it means that much of the time you think you’re not sleeping you actually are.  Go figure.

In conclusion I offer two more thoughts - at least for people for whom professional help is not necessary. First, when you’re tired enough, your body makes you sleep – so I try not to worry about a few bad nights. I do catch up.  Second, try to have a sense of humor about this because worrying, well, makes it hard to sleep.  Actually, my wife told me both of these things years ago. She clearly has the wisdom I lack.  Maybe that’s why I punched her.

Photo Credit: health.harvard.edu